Imaginary Adele B-Sides

Adele was one of the biggest music artists of 2011. Her album, 21, was one of the top selling album and tracks like “Someone Like You” continue to get heavy rotation on stations. One could also measure Adele’s success by the number of renditions found on YouTube (Yes. Connie Talbot has covered Adele songs).

If you’re wondering what fans are drawn to, you’ll have to listen to not just music, but her lyrics. Sure she’s got a great voice that’s soulful, but what people are really connecting with is the heartbreaking story she’s telling. Is it possible that Adele has made other songs that just didn’t align with the rest of 21’s theme? After all, she’s only human. We can’t assume sadness is the only emotion she feels. There must be balance and after the critical acclaim and sales figures she’s received, we’d hope that money can buy a ounce of happiness, even if its just temporary/superficial.

We don’t know if including these tracks would have hurt 21’s appeal but they certainly would have changed the album’s tone dramatically:

Club anthem track

We all know that every hit track gets at least 3 club remixes that can turn even the biggest tear jerker into a booty shaker. But what if Adele had just released a track strictly for the clubs. It would obviously be produced by Redfoo and GoonRock (LMFAO) and feature Pitbull. Obligatory lines include mention of hanging out with he girlfriends (name dropping of course), guys trying to hit on her, her describing how unqualified the aforementioned individual(s) were, and getting tipsy from cocktails. Naturally her appearance would need to be a bit more colorful for the music video. If you’ve ever wondered what Adele might look like with green/purple highlights in her hair and a hoop nose ring, this video will present that version.  The male figure in the video would have to anatomically flawless, kind of like the guys in the late 90’s Britney Spears videos. Kudos if she ends the video by splashing a drink in the guy’s face while winking at us. After all, Ke$ha isn’t the only girl that knows how to have fun in a club.

 Teen angst song

Although Adele is amazing at telling stories of heartache, she’s also 23. She’s only a few years past the awkward years of teen love described so well by the likes of Avril Lavigne and Michelle Branch. I wonder if Adele ever had moments when she was boy crazy for the older 17 year old that rolled to school in a muscle car his dad and him worked on. Do you think Adele ever contemplated keying her ex’s car, flattening tires, or getting with her ex’s best friend? What about all the complex emotions of trying to fit in with all her classmates? I bet a lot of kids told her to pursue a more conventional career path like dentistry or marketing. Remember, no teen angst video would be complete without Adele sitting on staircase, looking to the side with a highly contemplative face.

Political/social commentary

With great power comes great responsibility. Adele has garnered much spotlight and this would be a great time to use her voice to promote a great cause. Imagine her voice belting a sweet tune about the end of war or reminding fans to think about parts of the world where the daily struggle is not coping with an unpredictable love life, but simply surviving harsh conditions like the tyranny of a ruthless dictator.

Perhaps another topic Adele could touch on is how the selfish motives of mankind will one day lead to the world’s inevitable implosion. Has anyone ever made a song about the inhumane working conditions of an electronics components factory? Now is the time.

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About Mark Azali

A simple search on google will help you understand what Mark Azali is all about. He loves talking with random people at conventions, Google Plus, and twitter. Besides entertainment, he has an unusual obsession with starchy foods. Follow him and discover just how crazy he is: @notjohnlee (Yes. That's a reference to The Replacement Killers)

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