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What Carly Foulkes Might Look Like On Other Carriers

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When I  think of T-Mobile, there’s one thing that comes to mind. It’s not the phone or the services. It’s not even a “thing”. It’s Carly Foulkes.

Before Carly Foulkes became the “T-Mobile Girl”, T-Mobile tried to hock it’s product and services using Catherine Zeta Jones. This worked for a bit. I used to go “Hey. It’s Catherine Zeta Jones. I remember her from that one trailer of Entrapment and Zorro and… Um… Oh yeah! She’s with Michael Douglas, right? (Frown on face)”. I also remember going “Yeah. I would totally buy a phone if Catherine Zeta Jones tried pitching me a killer family plan at my doorstep and I don’t even have a family!”. But Catherine Zeta Jones was a familiar face. She brought baggage of her work. The brilliant minds at T-Mobile knew this and decided to show the world a new face: Carly Foulkes.

Carly Foulkes works because she’s fresh. I remember seeing her first commercial (no, I don’t remember the exact product/service) and going “Wow… Who the heck is that?!?”. I instantly googled “new T-Mobile girl” and discovered the name to my newest crush. Adjectives to describe Carly include: slender, brunette, adorable, the girl next door, perky, and Oh! She’s Canadian! Isn’t it great that T-Mobile decided to go beyond the borders of the country it was serving and find such a cutie? For those interested in catching a glimpse of her life behind the scenes, she even uses Twitter (@foulkescarly). Usually sporting white/magenta and heels in TV spots and bus posters, I wonder if Carly Foulkes recognized as often in public if wearing different color schemes.

Let’s imagine what Carly Foulkes would look like different if other carriers had nabbed her first

A&T

I think AT&T would take the hipster approach for Carley Foulkes. We all know AT&T was previously the exclusive carrier for the Apple iPhone which revolutionized the mobile handset industry. Although the exclusive deal is no longer a bragging right, AT&T still champions the iPhone more than any other of its other smartphone handset platforms (Android/Windows). The iPhone is pretty much THE phone to own for high school students, college students, recent graduates, gamers, and professionals that demand connectivity to social networks at all times. This is the kind of customers that can’t remember the last time they talked but texted their bestie while driving through a red light.

Hair: Carly Foulkes would probably trim her hair a bit. The longest it would be would be shoulder length. Carly might even be wearing a bob cut with bangs of course. Her hair would certainly be adorned with some type of accessory like a thin head band or whatever trendy thing the girls wear at Melrose/Silverlake. As far as hair care goes, it doesn’t need to look 100% professional. It will look great despite the fact it took only 5 minutes to brush. It’s even possible Carly Foulkes would be wearing a cabbie hat.

Face: Carly Foulkes would certainly be rocking plastic frame eyeglasses. This is a no-brainer. As far as earrings go, she might be wearing feathery type earrings (Natural of course. No synthetic colors).

Clothes: There are a ton of combinations for Carly Foulkes to chose from. Luckily, none of them have to be blue/orange since she’s going for a hip look. There’s no need to conform to a corporate palette! A cuffed long sleeve plaid top, suspenders, and jeans is one possibility. A different commercial might show Carly Foulkes in a stripped v-neck shirt (the v-neck helps expose a portion of the artistic ink she’s got), skirt, and patterned stockings. Shoes would definitely be wearing flats and never heals.

Other: Carly Foulkes would always enter the commercial on a single speed road bicycle

Verizon

Verizon’s latest marketing campaigns are all about Android. Even though it also carriers the iPhone, Verizon is credited for making “droid” a term people use when they really should be saying “Android”. The commercials are always done in the key of Skynet with red and black. There’s nothing pretty about Verizon’s marketing campaign. In fact, it almost makes me scared that I’ll walk into a store one day and be served by robots instead of humans.

Hair: Carly Foulkes hair would be jet black or bright red. Either way, her hair would be slick (think Trinity from The Matrix).

Face: Pale. Her complexion would be extremely fair to convey she is void of emotion and her transformation to a robot is nearing. Carly Foulkes might also have some optic system on half of her face like a Borg from Star Trek.

Clothes: Her clothes would be tight black vinyl with accents of red. If Verizon decides to embrace the cyborg appeal, she might have a few limbs that are exoskeleton. Her shoes are obviously not modular. They are connected to her single peace armor/suit since all her thoughts are translated into bionic movement via a processing unit within the suit.

Other: If Verizon was smart, Carly Foulkes’ voice should stutter like Max Headroom.

Sprint

Sprint is the unexciting underdog of the four major carriers. It doesn’t really have much personality right? When you think of Sprint, you think of value service. We all hoped the Palm Pre would make a triumphant splash in the mobile handset market but things just didn’t pan out that way. Sprint has definitely become good buddies with Android handset makers, but there isn’t anything distinct about the way they show off products. As such, this becomes the most challenging carrier to work with in this.

Hair: Carly Foulkes’ hair would be normal yet professional. It might be in a bun or ponytail.

Face: Minimal makeup. Foulkes won’t be dolled up, but luckily she doesn’t need any since she’s probably a 10 even in the morning of any remote camping trip. If there’s anything on her lips, it’s just a pinch of lip balm

Clothes: Her clothes aren’t from a thrift shop (AT&T) or made by an engineer (Verizon). They’re bought from a mall or Target. They fit fine and evoke feelings of highly accessible platonic friendship. The colors are safe and inconspicuous. If she’s wearing a skirt/dress, she’ll wear plain stockings to appear professional and non-threatening.

 

My Man Crush on Don Draper

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Television series have a double edged sword when it comes to character development: every episode presents the opportunity/challenge of developing a character. Remind the viewers why they love OR hate a character and they’ll keep coming back.

I’m barely finishing Season 1 of AMC’s Mad Men and am having trouble thinking of another male lead in television that I’ve been so attracted to. A lot of guys would suggest Jack Bauer (from Fox’s 24 series) as the ideal male character to vicariously live through. Bauer represents many of the adolescent fantasies one could conjure up: firing guns, pounding faces with our bare hands, and making things explode all for the sake of protecting the United States. Although Don Draper doesn’t have as many action scenes as Bauer, they both are a vessel for a multitude of issues and inner demons. Here’s a list of qualities for Don Draper, that I’ve become rather infatuated with.

(Note, if you haven't seen season 1, then there are spoilers)

Looks

Mad Men takes place in the 60’s. If there ever was an era that produced respectable fashion that stands the test of time, it’s the 60’s. Guys just look like such gentlemen with their skinny neckties/bows, perfectly cut, pressed suits, plastic/horn-rimmed glasses. Compared to the rest of the male cast on Mad Men, Draper, in particular, grabs your attention. Is it just a coincidence he also has the nicest hair in the show?

Jon Hamm, who plays Don Draper, has hit the big 40, but I could definitely see him as a great candidate for Superman. If there ever was a modern advertisement for cigarettes, this show would be it. At times, I think the show should include a warning that cigarette addiction can occur from watching it. One time, I had a moment where I was holding a screw in my hand and caught myself holding it between two fingers like a cigarette.

Most importantly, the show has redefined how I measure success: if I don’t have a stack of fresh shirts in my desk drawer, I have not made it.

Power

Who couldn’t use a little more pull? Professionally, he’s THE guy who’s opinion matters the most. In any meeting, there could be 10 other guys chiming in with advertising thoughts on how to sell a product, but in the end, it’s Draper’s opinion that hooks the client. His ability to seduce initially unimpressed prospective clients never fails to be fascinating. Beg to differ? Opposing his opinion most certainly makes you an enemy (Pete Campbell). The key to his power is also the fact he almost never feels threatened. Control is everything

Issues

If I’m being honest with myself, I think my the biggest draw of Don Draper is how much of a mess he is and we all know everyone loves looking at a train wreck. Draper represents the American dream of rags to riches formula with a generous pinch of self-destructive crazy. Let’s review what we know of him so far:

  • He’s a bastard: I can only imagine how big the chip on my shoulder would be if I was also a bastard child. Being a mistake never feels good, ESPECIALLY if you’re, literally, the son of a whore.
  • He changed his identity while serving in the Korean War. Um yeah… who does that? Who goes “I just saw my superior get blown apart. Wow! This corpse is super toasty and gooey. Oh hey, look; his dog tag is still in tact. Score!”?
  • He made eye contact with his half-brother while faking his death and denied him.

Don Draper is clearly a sex addict. He demonstrates how married men can have their cake and eat it too. Any pretty women that crosses his path are not safe from his charm and insatiable appetite for sex. Even after he’s done gallivanting during office hours, he’s still the man of the house at home.

If you were to look at the cast without seeing an episode you’d probably go “Wow. He’s married to January Jones! What a lucky guy. How could he possibly want to cheat on her?”. Well… Just watch the show, you’ll see how. Having sex with women appears to be as addictive to Draper as the cigarettes he smokes. If you haven’t figured out how Don Draper’s mind works when it comes to women, here’s the formula: if he finds you attractive, he WILL have sex with you.

Sigh.